Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Old McMaureen Had a Farm...

It's been a long time not only since I've blogged, but since I've talked about my little hobby farm--otherwise known as Peace of Paradise Farm.  Ten years ago when we moved to Virginia (God, it's hard to believe it's already been that long!), I wanted to have enough land to have a small farm.  I envisioned myself growing a huge organic garden, raising honeybees, and having a flock of egg laying chickens.  Most of all, I envisioned myself surrounded with a menagerie of quirky but lovable animals--and fortunately, that's exactly what I have.

Over the course of the past year and a half, we have had some new additions on the farm.  A while back, Bob came into the house and said he just witnessed the most bizarre thing--our little male alpaca was mating with our big, female llama.  Bob said he felt like a voyeur, but he couldn't help but watch.  Reportedly, their long necks were going every which way and they were making the strangest noises.  I immediately googled alpaca and llama mating and much to my chagrin, found out that they can cross breed, although according to the website, "their offspring are less than desirable." 

Naturally, less than a year later, both of our llamas gave birth!  Dolly Llama, who we had absolutely no idea was pregnant, gave birth to a male cria whom we named Duke. 

Several weeks later, Connor, Mikaela and a couple of their friends ran into the house exclaiming that Molly Llama "had legs sticking out of her butt."  By the time I got outside, Molly had already given birth to Daisy.

Now Molly is a pretty sweet llama, but she wasn't exactly Mother-of-the-Year material.  In fact, she wouldn't let Daisy nurse and so I became a Llama Mama.  I can't tell you how much I absolutely loved bottle feeding Daisy.  She was supposed to wean at about a month, but I wound up feeding her for an additional 8 months. 

As a result, she's totally imprinted on me and absolutely loves people.  Truth be told, I'm absolutely smitten with her as well!

Shortly after Molly gave birth, I went out to the pasture and saw both of the alpacas trying to more or less rape her!  To compound the matter, Fannie Mae my little miniature Sicilian donkey was horny and VERY confused, because she was trying to mount the alpacas who were trying to mount Molly!  It was a veritable barnyard orgy.

Pepper Jack
Needless to say, I decided that desperate times called for desperate measures, and so I immediately called the Vet.  The next day, she was there to do some "cutting" and fortunately, I was able to help with the surgeries.  I had Connor and Mikaela come out to lend a hand and observe, but after a few minutes, Connor was absolutely mortified and couldn't watch it any longer.

I'm not sure why Connor found this so disturbing?!  :-)

A few hours later, Jasper and Pepper Jack were as good as new.  Fannie Mae resumed her ongoing love affair with Durango and life was much more peaceful in the barnyard. 

Stay tuned for more barnyard shenanigans!


  1. Love it. Had to put down my John Irving novel to read this and found this story much in the same vein as Mr. Irving's quirky works. I love the bizarre happening of real life. So happy to see you enjoying life as you envisioned it.

  2. This is marvelous. And you never cease to amaze me. So happy to know you!

  3. You are so interesting and the life you live!! Thanks for sharing!