Old McMaureen Had a Farm...

It's been a long time not only since I've blogged, but since I've talked about my little hobby farm--otherwise known as Peace of Paradise Farm.  Ten years ago when we moved to Virginia (God, it's hard to believe it's already been that long!), I wanted to have enough land to have a small farm.  I envisioned myself growing a huge organic garden, raising honeybees, and having a flock of egg laying chickens.  Most of all, I envisioned myself surrounded with a menagerie of quirky but lovable animals--and fortunately, that's exactly what I have.

Over the course of the past year and a half, we have had some new additions on the farm.  A while back, Bob came into the house and said he just witnessed the most bizarre thing--our little male alpaca was mating with our big, female llama.  Bob said he felt like a voyeur, but he couldn't help but watch.  Reportedly, their long necks were going every which way and they were making the strangest noises.  I immediately googled alpaca and llama mating and much to my chagrin, found out that they can cross breed, although according to the website, "their offspring are less than desirable." 

Naturally, less than a year later, both of our llamas gave birth!  Dolly Llama, who we had absolutely no idea was pregnant, gave birth to a male cria whom we named Duke. 

Several weeks later, Connor, Mikaela and a couple of their friends ran into the house exclaiming that Molly Llama "had legs sticking out of her butt."  By the time I got outside, Molly had already given birth to Daisy.

Now Molly is a pretty sweet llama, but she wasn't exactly Mother-of-the-Year material.  In fact, she wouldn't let Daisy nurse and so I became a Llama Mama.  I can't tell you how much I absolutely loved bottle feeding Daisy.  She was supposed to wean at about a month, but I wound up feeding her for an additional 8 months. 

As a result, she's totally imprinted on me and absolutely loves people.  Truth be told, I'm absolutely smitten with her as well!

Shortly after Molly gave birth, I went out to the pasture and saw both of the alpacas trying to more or less rape her!  To compound the matter, Fannie Mae my little miniature Sicilian donkey was horny and VERY confused, because she was trying to mount the alpacas who were trying to mount Molly!  It was a veritable barnyard orgy.

Pepper Jack

Jasper

                      

Needless to say, I decided that desperate times called for desperate measures, and so I immediately called the Vet.  The next day, she was there to do some "cutting" and fortunately, I was able to help with the surgeries.  I had Connor and Mikaela come out to lend a hand and observe, but after a few minutes, Connor was absolutely mortified and couldn't watch it any longer.

I'm not sure why Connor found this so disturbing?!  :-)

A few hours later, Jasper and Pepper Jack were as good as new.  Fannie Mae resumed her ongoing love affair with Durango and life was much more peaceful in the barnyard. 

Stay tuned for more barnyard shenanigans!

Zeke (the Destroyer) Update

Remember Zeke--the dog I found running down a busy road several months ago?  

Well, it turns out Zeke definitely has a few "issues."  For starters, he's a jumper...and a chewer...and a crotch sniffer...and a shedder...and a....well you get the picture. 

Zeke, our "free" dog has wound up costing us quite a bit. Here is a quick list off the top of my head of some of the things he's destroyed:  2 books, 2 bicycle helmets (he has a "thing" for straps), 2 stuffed animals, 1 dog bed, 6 kilim pillows (he also has a thing for "stuffing"), 1 electric razor, 1 computer power strip, 1 pair of earbuds (yes, he also has a "thing" for electronics) and 1 window screen, .  Needless to say, there's probably a reason his former owners weren't out looking for him.

Unfortunately, Zeke also gets horribly carsick.  This past weekend when we went to WV, we had to board him at a local kennel.  (We can't leave him home with a petsitter, because we wouldn't have a house left by the time we returned and we can't bring him in the car for 8 hours either).  The kennel is about a 10 minute drive from our house and poor ol' Zekie managed to drool profusely over the entire van before he vomited 4 times all over the floor and seat.  (Lesson learned--do NOT feed Zeke dinner before dropping him off at the kennel :-))

But all those little foibles aside, Zeke (who Bob calls "Bad Dog") is definitely growing on me.  He has a joyful enthusiasm for life that I find endearing.  He's definitely bonded to me and consequently, he follows me all over the place.  He loves to run and if he can ever get over the carsickness, I think he's going to be a good camping/hiking dog.  We recently had him neutered and the vet thought he was only about a year old...so he's young...and there's hope that better days are ahead!

Our newest "family" member

Just over a week ago, as I was on my way to "the dump," I saw a stray dog running down the side of a busy road.  Naturally, I stopped my van and to my surprise, he hopped right inside.  I continued on my way and about 10 minutes later, I noticed my new "friend" was beginning to salivate profusely.  Seconds later, he proceeded to vomit all over the front console--and I watched in utter horror and disgust as it rolled and dripped down the sides and into every small crevice between the seats.  (Yes, yet another critter we have who has severe motion sickness!)

We eventually made it to my house whereupon StrayDog immediately made himself right at home.  He ran into the family room, lifted his leg and promptly peed on the entertainment center.   Needless to say, he was quickly put outside.  I called our local pound who advised they were currently full, but would pick him up the following day if need be.  I replied that I'd keep him for a few days in hopes that his owner would turn up.  I subsequently e-mailed our animal control officer a photo and description of the dog.  As you can probably tell, StrayDog is very clearly a beagle/australian shepherd mix--he has a beagle's face and an australian shepherd's body and coloring.  Oh, and have I mentioned that he also has one blue eye and one brown eye?  (I'm a total sucker for blue eyed dogs...and llamas for that matter!)   

As the days passed, StrayDog began to grow on me...despite a few "minor" setbacks.  For example, on the first day, he ate the book the kids and I are currently "reading aloud."

I don't know if he can "Do Hard Things" but he can certainly "Eat Hard Things!"

The following day, he ate the pillow sham on our bed.

Before

 

After

I won't even mention the dog bed, the bag of napkins or the throw pillow he's also managed to eat destroy.  Nor will I describe how I awoke one morning only to find over a dozen puddles of dog pee through-out the house--it was evident that StrayDog and Shasta (our 13 yr old husky/border collie mix) literally had an all-night pissing contest! 

Yet despite a few quirks, StrayDog is surprisingly turning out to be a good dog.  On the positive side--he isn't peeing in the house anymore and he's significantly cut down on the number of household items he's destroying.  He's also great with the our cats and he doesn't chase the chicken or other barn animals.  He  doesn't wander off and for the most part, he usually comes when he's called.  Best of all, he loves to go for runs!  I think once he gets neutered (later this month) and gets a bit of training, he's going to be a really great dog.  So much so, I think he's a keeper...and now that he's ours, he has a name.  Meet Zeke (who was almost named PEEter or CHEWbacca). 

It's Official!

I saw this on Facebook the other day and besides laugh, the only thing I could think of was, yes, it's official.  I am now the crazy cat lady!

Believe it or not, we now have FIVE pet cats.   Over the course of the past few months, we have added three more cats to our menagerie.

Jayla

We started off with Jayla--a free kitten we got from a rural pound several years ago.  Jayla is very sweet and has a serious weakness for all things edible.  Unfortunately, she isn't terribly high energy either, so consequently, she has become rather large.  In other words, she is the quintessential "fat cat."

Riley

Two years later, we added Riley into the mix.  On my previous blog, I told the story of how we got Riley.  It's sort of funny, so I'll quickly retell it.  Our local newspaper featured a cat in their "Pet of the Week" column.  The article described how Riley was a cat who was "majorly down on his luck."  He had been dumped at a local gas station and was found scrounging in the dumpster.  To make matters worse, Riley had a severe respiratory infection and an abscess on his face.  After Bob finished reading the article to me, he jokingly said, "Wow, he sounds perfect--let's get him."   (These are words Bob should long know that he should never, ever utter in my presence, because of course, we did just that.)  The following day, Connor, Mikaela and I went to the animal shelter and adopted Riley.

The article didn't exaggerate--he was a mess.  We took him straight to the vet's office where they began treating him for the respiratory infection and abscess.  Let's just say I never knew cats could shoot humongous, human like boogers out their noses.  Boogers that are 3 - 5X the size of their noses.  I now do.  As we were leaving the vet's office, the tech asked me if I'd like to purchase a cardboard cat carrier to safely bring him home--to which I (cheaply) replied, "Nah, we'll be fine.  I only live 10 minutes away."  Needless to say, that was a BIG mistake!

Six minutes later, as I was driving home, Riley crawled under my legs and feet and proceeded to get car sick on my floor mat.  And then to make matters worse, as he was vomiting, he simultaneously had a major diarrhea attack.  The smell was horrific and since he was throwing up and couldn't move, the diarrhea was getting all over his fur. Naturally, as soon as he stopped throwing up, he began to move all over me and the car, tracking the poop everywhere he went.  But that wasn't the worst of it...when I finally got home and got out of the car, I grabbed the floormat and to my total horror, I saw a slew of white worms wriggling in his vomit.  Much to his chagrin, Riley went directly into the laundry room sink for a bath.  Riley may have been down on his luck, but his life has taken a turn for the better.  He's been with us for 3 years now and he is very well loved.  Unfortunately, Riley has polyps in his nose and still shoots out humongous boogers (lovely, I know--I'm sure you'd love to come stay with us knowing that).  However, he's incredibly sweet--full of spunk and personality--but he's not terribly healthy and on top of his chronic infections, he has a heart murmur as well.

The next cat which found a home with us came from our local farm and feed store.  I went there to pick up some llama chow and wound up bringing home Maisy Grace--a feral kitten they had caught in a trap and wanted to get rid of.  I figured since she was feral and was already living in a barn, she might as well come live in our barn.  And so I brought her home, put her up in the barn with some food and water and she promptly disappeared.  I went out to the barn for the next few days looking for her, but unfortunately, I couldn't find her.  I felt bad, but there was little I could do.

About a week later, I was working in the barn when I heard a rustle.  Lo and behold, there she was under a wood pallet.  I felt so sorry for her, because she looked so pathetic--she was just a little kitten and she was all alone in the world, so I brought her into the house.  It took Maisy all of about 20 seconds to decide she liked being a house cat far better than being a barn cat and so she's stayed.

Maisy Grace

Then this summer, I received a phone call from my sister saying that they had found 3 abandoned two-week old kittens at her office and she wanted to know if we'd take them.  Of course we would.  So for the next eight weeks, Bob, the kids and I bottle fed these kittens.  To be honest, I felt like some sort of  La Leche League mama--doing extended "nursing" and "attachment parenting."  My initial plan was to find homes for the kittens and I found takers for all of them.  In fact, my friend Tisha took Storm...but as the days progressed, we became more and more bonded to the two remaining kittens--Rainier and Ninja.

Rainier

Six months later, they are still here and here is where they'll stay.  There must be something to that "nursing-bonding" thing, because I absolutely love these guys.  That said, five is my absolute limit and no matter what, we won't be getting any more cats.  (Just. say. NO, Maureen, Just. say. NO!)

Ninja

Hmmm...can I just say the fact that I have five cats is scary, but the fact that I am actually blogging about my pet cats is even scarier?  The ironic thing is I've become the crazy cat lady and I'm not even a cat person--I'm much, much more into dogs!